I do believe in the axiom that "There's a sucker born every minute," but I also know statistically that approximately 250 babies come into this world every minute; that means that there are around 249 non-suckers born every minute. I prefer to remain in the non-sucker category. Nothing personal against the suckers, but sucking on a regular basis really sucks, unless you’re the suckee and even that might get a little tedious after awhile, unless you’re a narcissistic egomaniac.
Which brings me to another reason that I didn’t visit the above mentioned sites: I think the site owners are narcissistic egomaniacs..
It seems that Ms. Devin wisely exited the scene stage right awhile back, which left the dubious duo of Mr. Harris and Ms. Turner. Although it’s kind of like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (only is this case it would be Mr. Hyde and Mrs. Hyde). Receiving information and opinions from these two concerning issues and court cases related to the deaths of Anna Nicole Smith and Daniel Wayne Smith would be akin to reading blogs by Lynette (Squeaky) Fromme and Charles (Tex) Watson in which they express their views on the character and guilt of Charles Manson. Besides, I figured that if I wanted to know what Mr. Stern had to say about something I’d wait for his deposition and get it straight from the horse’s mouth. Cut out the middle man.
In the interest of accuracy (‘cause I know how much the "harrisheads" and "haglets" abhor inconsistencies), I did read some of Mr. Harris’ articles and responses to his readers when he decided to exercise his journalistic talents to excoriate Mrs. Maples on his web site. That would have been the time he "hoped" that she’d live to see another Christmas after reading that she’d recently been diagnosed with a potentially terminal disease and suggested to her that any time left might be better spent doing something else. And that was enough of Mr. Harris’ objective journalism for me.
Then one morning I woke up, poured myself a nice cup of coffee, turned on my computer and discovered that the terrible twosome was getting sued. Best cup of coffee I’d had in a long time, if I do say so myself (and apparently I do). Much to my relief, Mr. Roll-on Deodorant (thanks Kerry) decided to concentrate his considerable skills and experience on other areas of investigative journalism, like:
"Atlanta’s Mansion Madam Back in Divorce Court"
"Hulk Hogan: Celebrity Parenting on Trial"
"Sex in the City Star Talks!"
I’m sure these stories were just crying out for someone like him to add a little gravitas. I wouldn’t like to think that getting sued had anything to do with Mr. Harris’ thematic shift, I mean that would mean all his talk about bravery, honor and integrity were just empty words on some obscure internet site.
Which left the "sole survivor" Rose to carry on the crusade. Again in the spirit of absolute honesty I always considered Rose and her followers to be well….the bottom of the "Stern Cheerleading" barrel. Wading through the inanities of her minions was sufficient enough abuse for me. I’m not that into punishment, sorry Ro’ho. Now, while Rosie was always good for a laugh and a few one liners (and boy there’s plenty of material to work with), I never took a single thing she ever stated seriously because I think she’s a humorless twit with absolutely no understanding of legal issues, morality or human nature. I thought she simply pulled facts and conclusion out of her ass until it became obvious that that particular orifice was otherwise occupied. My mantra to those who ever uttered the words, "Rose said" were:
"Let me know when someone with an ounce of credibility says it and I’ll discuss it with you."
Then some of the cult members escaped and started talking about life inside the compound. I remember thinking, dang I wish I had paid more attention to Ro’ho because everything that had been relayed to me about her and what she was up to seems to have been true. Who would have thunk it? Or as someone I once knew was fond of saying, "you can’t make this stuff up". So I signed up for a temporary subscription via the "paper route" because I remained resolved in my determination not to frequent the "Howard is a Hero" missionary’s message board. Still I was only skimming through for ‘chits and giggles’ until Ro’ho choose to advance her advocacy of BDSM as a form of religion on her website. A lot of my internet friends found that association highly insulting and asked if I would be willing to help them write a response, which I enthusiastically did.
In the past couple of weeks the intimidation tactics of Ro’ho and the haglets have increased exponentially. Why Ms. Turner feels the need to continue to write and disseminate threats & lies against myself and my friends is hard to fathom. On August 2, 2008 Ms. Turner wrote and published an article entitled, "John O’Quinn Did Not Know who Wilma was, Christian Steed, said Wilma Vicedomine (Vice) came on Board at the end of March 2007, Oh Really?? In this article Ms. Turner made the decision to once again deter from the facts (not that she ever gets the facts right to begin with) and personally attack myself and others. While this is not the first time that Ms. Turner has engaged in this type of behavior (despite her empty pleas of not getting in the sandbox) it turned out to be the straw that broke the camels back. We just don’t find Ms. Rosie all that amusing anymore. In one of those "I have had enough of this shit" moments, everyone agreed that it was way past time to debunk Rose. While we all know that every Rose has it thorn, we could never have imagined how much this particular Rose like to be pricked.
So in the tradition of The Rose we are collaborating on a series of articles concerning this very topic. They will be posted in installments ala Rose’s debunking of Rita Cosby’s book in the upcoming weeks. After discussing this topic and doing a precursory bit of research it was immediately apparent to all of us that we were going to have to open more than a few cans of debunker on her ass. In fact I believe we’ve just about acquired every can of debunker grease in the great state of Texas.
So stock up on the popcorn, put the beers on ice because this rose bud’s for you.
There Is A Sucker Born Every Minute
(From the Broadway musical "Barnum")
There is a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though I feed ‘em bonafide baloney
With no truth in it
Why you can bet I’ll find some rube to buy my corn.
‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And I’m referrin’ to the minute you were born
Each blessed hour brings sixty of ‘em
Each time the wooden cuckoo shows his face
Another sucker takes his place,
And plunks his quarter on the line
To buy my brand of genuine malarkey.
God bless and love ‘em!
But don’t feel sad or hoppin’ mad or cause a scene
‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
But Ma’am you mighta been the minute in between.
If I allow that right here in my hands
The smallest living human man
The sight of that is surely worth a dime
If I present an educated pooch
Who’s trained to dance the hoochie cooch
What better way to waste a bit of time
If I imported monumental cost
A lady, fair, who’s head was lost
While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias
Who eats farina through a hose
And wares pink tights instead of clothes
If that ain’t worth a buck my name ain’t Phineas
Aw you say that’s hog wash well who cares
You’ll buy my hog was long as
There’s a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though my tale is bonafide baloney,
Just let me spin it,
And ain’t no man who can resist me wait and see
‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And friends the biggest one excluding none is me!
{editors note- thank you Einy for your wonderful writing as usual. Looking forward to future installments}
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